The trauma of parenthood
Several weeks later, it was nearing Cassie's birthday. Gloriana made regular visits, and Cassie made an observation to her father in a way that only a five year old could.
"Daddy?"
"Yes, sweetie?"
"You like Miss Glory?"
"Of course. It's nice to have visitors." He wasn't even looking away from his paper.
"Does Miss Glory like you?"
Raph gave a half shrug, "I guess so. I don't think she'd keep appearing to us if she didn't."
Cassandra seemed to think about that, her small face screwed up in the thoughtful childish way, "Too bad you can't marry a ghost. You've seemed a lot happier since she's been around, Daddy."
It took a moment for that to sink into Rafael's distracted mind. When it did, he sputtered through the mouthful of coffee he had sipped. "Cassie!" He coughed and wiped up the spray of coffee with a napkin. "Honey, it doesn't work like that. A man and woman can like each other without getting married."
"Oh." She nodded her head. "Okay. I was just asking, Daddy."
He laughed softly and patted her on the head, which she wrinkled her nose at. She didn't like that very much. "I love you very much, Cass."
"Oh I love you too, Daddy!" She cheerfully went back to her cereal and orange juice with gusto. Raph shook his head and went back to his paper. Or tried to anyway. It was almost transparent from his spray. He sighed and folded the paper up.
"Not too much longer, peanut. Have to get you to school." She pouted at that, but not as much as she used to. While getting her ready for class was still an adventure, she was getting used to it. He supposed it went like that for every parent, he supposed. Though he’d never tell Cassie, he’d much rather she stayed home with him. Mostly because he missed her, but also because, like any parent, his worst fear as that something would happen to his baby while he wasn’t there to protect her.
Like all parents, he puts this in the back of his head and tries not to think about it too often. He’s never successful at it when he’s dropping her off though. Like always, he sat in the car watching Cassie until she moped through the front door of her school. He doesn’t remember events from when HE was in kindergarten, but Raph did remember the feeling of abandonment that was with him at first. His own parents sat watching him go into school just as he watched Cassie, and he does remember that knowing they were there was a big help.
He also remembers wondering if they sat in front of the building the entire time he was in class, because they were always sitting there waiting when he got out. He always made sure he did the same for Cassie.
Raph waited for about ten minutes, then drove home. He laughed ruefully to himself as he let himself into the apartment, thinking he could very well could wait all day in front of the school. His days consisted of doing crosswords and keeping track of his investments. It paid to have built a successful small business and then sold it before he was twenty-five. He paid the bills on interest, and knew with absolute certainty that Cass would never want for anything. That wasn’t to say that she GOT everything she WANTED, just that she wouldn’t go hungry or anything like that. He made damn sure that he passed the solid values on to Cassie that his parents instilled in him.
When time came, he got back in the car with a good book and drove to the school. As usual he sat for twenty minutes reading until he heard the school bell. Then he got out of the car and met Cassie at the door. She still wasn’t too big for him to carry, so he carried her back to the car. Once back at home, he made sandwiches for dinner. Then it was bed time. He read with her as usual for an hour before, then tucked her in with a kiss on the forehead.
“Good night, peanut.”
“Good night, Daddy.” Thankfully, dinner still made her sleepy. As he walked out, closing the door slightly, he heard her say to the air, “Miss Glory.” He thought he heard a soft, “Good night, dear,” in return.
"Daddy?"
"Yes, sweetie?"
"You like Miss Glory?"
"Of course. It's nice to have visitors." He wasn't even looking away from his paper.
"Does Miss Glory like you?"
Raph gave a half shrug, "I guess so. I don't think she'd keep appearing to us if she didn't."
Cassandra seemed to think about that, her small face screwed up in the thoughtful childish way, "Too bad you can't marry a ghost. You've seemed a lot happier since she's been around, Daddy."
It took a moment for that to sink into Rafael's distracted mind. When it did, he sputtered through the mouthful of coffee he had sipped. "Cassie!" He coughed and wiped up the spray of coffee with a napkin. "Honey, it doesn't work like that. A man and woman can like each other without getting married."
"Oh." She nodded her head. "Okay. I was just asking, Daddy."
He laughed softly and patted her on the head, which she wrinkled her nose at. She didn't like that very much. "I love you very much, Cass."
"Oh I love you too, Daddy!" She cheerfully went back to her cereal and orange juice with gusto. Raph shook his head and went back to his paper. Or tried to anyway. It was almost transparent from his spray. He sighed and folded the paper up.
"Not too much longer, peanut. Have to get you to school." She pouted at that, but not as much as she used to. While getting her ready for class was still an adventure, she was getting used to it. He supposed it went like that for every parent, he supposed. Though he’d never tell Cassie, he’d much rather she stayed home with him. Mostly because he missed her, but also because, like any parent, his worst fear as that something would happen to his baby while he wasn’t there to protect her.
Like all parents, he puts this in the back of his head and tries not to think about it too often. He’s never successful at it when he’s dropping her off though. Like always, he sat in the car watching Cassie until she moped through the front door of her school. He doesn’t remember events from when HE was in kindergarten, but Raph did remember the feeling of abandonment that was with him at first. His own parents sat watching him go into school just as he watched Cassie, and he does remember that knowing they were there was a big help.
He also remembers wondering if they sat in front of the building the entire time he was in class, because they were always sitting there waiting when he got out. He always made sure he did the same for Cassie.
Raph waited for about ten minutes, then drove home. He laughed ruefully to himself as he let himself into the apartment, thinking he could very well could wait all day in front of the school. His days consisted of doing crosswords and keeping track of his investments. It paid to have built a successful small business and then sold it before he was twenty-five. He paid the bills on interest, and knew with absolute certainty that Cass would never want for anything. That wasn’t to say that she GOT everything she WANTED, just that she wouldn’t go hungry or anything like that. He made damn sure that he passed the solid values on to Cassie that his parents instilled in him.
When time came, he got back in the car with a good book and drove to the school. As usual he sat for twenty minutes reading until he heard the school bell. Then he got out of the car and met Cassie at the door. She still wasn’t too big for him to carry, so he carried her back to the car. Once back at home, he made sandwiches for dinner. Then it was bed time. He read with her as usual for an hour before, then tucked her in with a kiss on the forehead.
“Good night, peanut.”
“Good night, Daddy.” Thankfully, dinner still made her sleepy. As he walked out, closing the door slightly, he heard her say to the air, “Miss Glory.” He thought he heard a soft, “Good night, dear,” in return.
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