You don't tug on Superman's cape...

        As a comic fan who’s had almost 20 years to mature into the hobby, I’ve learned to take other people’s opinions in stride. After all, I can like something that you hate and vice versa. There’s one thing, though that always get me: Superman is a lame, boring character.

        You don’t get to say that. Superman is the first hero, the one to whom the kids putting their underoos on outside of their pants for the first time look up to. He’s been continually published since the late ‘30’s for a reason. He’s an icon. Period.

        Normally, you can have your opinion, but you can’t just declare a character “lame” just because YOU don’t like him. You gotta remember that every character is someone’s favorite. I’m pretty laid back on that respect, but... Superman? Really? I’d sooner blame the writer for not writing the character well enough, and *I* am a writer, amateur that I am.

        You say he’s boring? Why, because he’s so powerful? Hardly. Some of the best stories I’ve read deals with him using his mind rather than his brawn. The classic Superman Annual penned by Alan Moore, “For The Man Who Has Everything” dealt with Kal-El breaking free of the Black Mercy flower, which was placed on him by Mongul. He had to use his will to fight the Black Mercy. Of course, afterwords, he does proceed to give Mongul an epic beat down.

        No good villains? He’s got the archetypical arch-villain, Lex Luthor. You don’t get any more epic than Luthor. Brainiac, one of the scariest villains when done right. You’ve got Superman’s Imperfect Duplicate in Bizarro, who gave rise to a whole planet of imperfect duplicates. The Terrible Toyman, the Persnickety Prankster, Metallo, Terra-Man (that’s for you John!), and many others.

        Speaking of Metallo, being a child of the ‘80’s, I may have been the only one to actually like his Neuron given ability to take over any machine his head was placed on. C’mon! He was a Transformer! How can that NOT be cool!

        I’ll be the first to admit that Big Blue has had his ups and downs over the years, but I still fault that with the writers and editors than with the character. Case in point: Chuck Austin. Who the hell told HIM he could write? Okay, okay, I maybe being unduly harsh here, but he’s just not a good fit for Superman. It’s not just the comics either. Anyone remember the movie proposal with Nic Cage as Supes? Look, I’m a Nic Cage fan, especially when he’s not really trying to act, but Superman? Really?

        You need to keep making bigger and bigger threats to challenge him? I’m gonna have to really call shenanigans on this one. Utter horse-hockey. You know what proved it? Doomsday.

        No! Wait! Don’t stop reading! Let me explain. Conceived to play along with the event driven stuff in the 90’s, The Death of Superman was just that. Let’s call a spade a spade here. What made that story great was NOT Doomsday. It was what went on around it. You had the JLA of the time trying to stop him and getting stomped, but not enough that they couldn’t save a family in the process. The anguish of Lois, Clark’s fiancee, and Superman’s Pal, Jimmy Olsen having to watch her lover, his best friend, die stopping a monster that was killing everything in sight.

        That “photo” that Jimmy took, of Superman laying in the cratered street actually gives me chills. The conversation that Lois had with him as he dies in her arms. That in and of itself would have made the story worth it. But it didn’t stop there. Next was Funeral for a Friend. There you had the world’s reaction to his death. Lois’ anguished calls back to Smallville talking with Ma and Pa, Luther's reaction was just incredible. Especially considering that at the time, he was in a younger, cloned body with an Australian accent. Yeah, I know. It sounds ridiculous, but the title of the trade that collected that story was called “They Saved Luther's Brain.” C’mon, that’s so 50’s B-movie cheesy that it’s awesome.

        Then, one of the moments that just hit on the moment was Batman. He caught a thug robbing a jewelry store, I think, and instead of roughing him up, he said, and I’m paraphrasing here; “If this were any other time, any other place, I’d beat you down. But not now. Not in HIS city.” It’s better if you read the issue.

        So, in between the meat of Funeral and the start of “Reign of the Supermen” there’s Adventures of Superman 500. Now, I’m a good reader. But even I find stuff in there every time I’ve read it. What it comes down to is this; Pa Kent has a heart attack. In the midst of this, we see his near death experience, basically running into Clark on the way to “Kryptonian Heaven.” Yeah, Pa didn’t buy it either. We find out it’s Supes’ old nemesis Blaize, a demon from Hell trying to steal his soul. We’re treated to something you haven’t seen since the heights of the Silver Age, Clark and his father Jonathan fighting bad guys side by side. By the end of the extra-sized ish, Jonathan is revived and he wakes up saying “He’s back! He’s back!”. Meantime you get the teasers of the four “Supermen” showing up.

        That brings me to Reign of the Supermen. This is when I first started buying comics. I was eating this up. Zero Hour was still at least a year away, and here you had four characters each trying to replace Superman, in their own way. The Kid - brash, arrogant, and gets pissed off when you destroy his jacket or call him Superboy. The Kryptonian - physically the closest to Superman, but with light-sensitive eyes and energy blasts from his hands, and a decidedly harsh view on criminals. The Man of Steel - probably my favorite one. Here was a guy, who unlike the others, never claimed to be Superman. He was just a man. He was saved by Superman years before. John Henry was a steel driving man, you see, and he fell saving a fellow worker, and would have died if Superman hadn’t been there to save him. When asked what he could do to repay him, Clark’s answer was simply, “Make your life count for something.” So in the wake of Doomsday’s rampage and the death of his hero, he built a suit of armor, and used it pay tribute, and make his like count for something.

        Oh, and of course, the best for last. This one’s for my friend Adam. The Cyborg. Seemingly a fusion of Kal-El and Kryptonian technology, all seemingly replacing the places damaged by the fight with Doomsday. Except... this one wasn’t quite what he seemed, was he? He acted a good part, but this guy was really Hank Henshaw. A disembodied madman who had been transformed by cosmic radiation along with his partners a few years before, and blamed Superman for to being able to save their lives. Yeah, very Fantastic Four. No, wait, it WAS the Fantastic Four, my mistake.

        See, Henshaw was basically a computer virus, and he escaped Superman by hitching a ride on and reconfiguring the rocket that brought young Kal-El to Earth lo those many years ago. So, that’s where he got the Kryptonian tech. Since his remaining flesh tested positive for Kryptonian DNA, where’d he get that? Ah, here’s where we’re back to Mongul.

        See, in this Post-Crisis (on Infinite Earths) Earth, Superman ran into Mongul on this large “War World”. Capturing Superman with red sun radiation and forcing him fight in gladiator style combat. Eventually leading a riot and escaping, but not before leaving blood on the arena floor. By the way, on his way back to Earth, Superman runs into a cleric who is carrying a Kryptonian artifact. Which is the Eradicator, a living computer programming to recreate Krypton. Which it almost does on Earth later, then becomes “The Kryptonian” Superman. See how this ties together?

        Anyway, back to Henshaw. He ends up being picked up my Mongul, who is nursing his wounds from his defeat at the hands of Superman. Seeing the potential, he helps Henshaw clone a body from the blood left over from War World, and Superman’s birthing matrix/rocket. Of course, they use Superman’s death in a plan to recreate War World on Earth. They damn near succeed. They nuke Coast City, home of Hal “Green Lantern” Jordan and turn the burning wreckage into a gigantic engine. Using his form as a ruse, he lures first the Eradicator, then Superboy there and takes them out. Then he tried to do the same thing to Metropolis.

        Bad move sonny-jim.

        See, all the while, there’s been these mysterious interludes with what appears to be a fifth Superman. Except.. it’s the real deal. Brought back to life by a combination of circumstances that we’re told “could never happen again!!”, he is revived in the grave and taken back to his Fortress by the Eradicator, who had made a body from the Earth around the tomb.

        Nursed back to health by a Kryptonian robot in a pod that intensifies solar radiation.

        Yeah, how’s THAT for convoluted?

        Anyway, after learning what’s been happening in his absence, he grabs a Kryptonian War Suit and WALKS BACK TO METROPOLIS. I am NOT kidding. That's awesome.

        Okay, this is going on far too long at this point. We all know he saves the day, gets the girl, and beats the bad guy. But in a time where comics were driven by shiny foil covers, speculators and horrible, horrible Liefeld art (sorry, couldn’t resist), the Death and Return of Superman stood out NOT because of it’s gimmicky die-cut covers, foil covers, or one-shot uber monster. But because of the story. The VERY character driven story.

        See, that’s what it comes down to. When you deal with Superman, how he wins, or who he fights, that doesn’t matter. Yeah, that stuff can get repetitive. Gods know it does. But if you look at the stories that just work, they all have character driven plots. That goes for all characters for that matter.

        So, next time, before you declare Superman, or ANY character lame, think about this. How could YOU make this character good? While keeping his basic structure intact. Here’s to looking at the next Superman comic with new eyes. Don’t focus on the fights. Focus on who he interacts with. Did he just have a great scene with Lois? Jimmy? Perry, or hell, even Steve Lombard for chrissakes! Don’t miss out because of a preconceived notion of who that character is.

        You just might be surprised.